Meeting a legend.

On Friday night, April 16, 2010, my wife and I went to a show at the Dakota Jazz Club in downtown Minneapolis. It turned out to be more than just a show, it was a musical experience. The amazing composer, musician, and piano/keyboard great Chick Corea was playing that night, along with composer, musician and vibraphonist Gary Burton (whom, I am embarrassed to say, I had not heard of before).

I had NO idea what to expect. Chick has such a huge body of work - not even including the years with Miles Davis. When Chick and Gary were introduced, Gary came out first wearing all black and took his place behind the vibraphones. Chick came out of the other entrance next to the small, intimate stage holding the gorgeous, black grand piano. He was totally dressed down in a white shirt, black t-shirt, black track pants and tennis shoes. I loved it! For the next hour and a half to two hours, I was spellbound. The music felt like a trip through the heart of space, conjuring up the spirits of Thelonius Monk (of which the played several of his tunes), John Lennon (where they played THE most incredible rendition of the Lennon/McCartney song Eleanor Rigby), and several other standards. They were lengthy; however, it only added to the beauty of this experience. Burton was a magician on the vibes! Here I am sitting just dumbfounded at how a human being could produce such dreamy melodies on that instrument. Watching Chick play live was like taking a master class in piano. I couldn't move! I was too afraid I would miss something. If I had to go to the bathroom (which I didn't) I would have just ignored the urge. There was something more important happening at that moment. They played about two hours worth of music and two encores. The usually subdued Minnesota crowd I was used to was going wild - myself included. As a composer, musician and keyboard player myself, I was like, "Damn! I gotta step up my game after this! I wanna play all of that music they played tonight!" They were so casual and informal in their musical interactions - though by hearing them you would think they were playing at the Royal Albert Hall. They admitted that they were trying out new stuff and just worked it out as they went. This further sent me into a giddy state of bliss seeing these two master musicians just enjoying the miracle of the process of making music and playing together.

After the show was over, I wondered: would I or would I not get a chance to meet Chick Corea? Was he that type of cat who would meet and greet? Before leaving home for the concert, I packed our digital camera and a small notebook where I usually wrote out my musical ideas - just in case a photo op and/or an autograph was even a remote possibility. I said to my wife, "I don't know if he is that type of cat. But I want to be ready just in case." Am I glad I followed my first mind. I noticed a short receiving line of guys next to the green room where Chick and Gary were. That was my cue! I grabbed the camera and my notebook and made a B-line for it. There was a guy in front of me with a short stack of vinyl LPs. I couldn't tell if they were recordings by Chick or Gary or a mix of both. I saw Gary Burton slip out of the dressing room in a jacket and baseball cap. A couple of people acknowledged him and complemented him on the music, which he graciously accepted. The guy in front of me didn't think it was Gary. I said to him, "Yes. That was him." The next thing I knew he flew out of the receiving line after him. I guess he really wanted to meet him. A minute or so after that, one of the Dakota staff motioned us into the dressing room ("Us" being a young man and his father, and me) where Chick Corea was just relaxing on the couch. He was so relaxed, casual and just cool. He happily posed for pictures with the young guy and his dad after. Then it was my turn. I extended my hand and he met it half-way with his, with a huge smile like he had known me for years. I won't lie. I was 100% starstruck! I told him how much I wanted to play like him when I was younger. He asked if I was in a group, and I mentioned I put together a trio. He couldn't help but ask if I got any grief about my first name. Then I told him my full name. He thought it was great. "You could just name your album that!" he said with a huge smile yet again. I got the picture with him - AND the autograph. He told me, "Keep the music going." I was floating on cloud 9 out of that dressing room.

For me, people like Chick Corea, Herbie Hancock, Amel Larrieux (whom I also met) always leave me starstruck and hopeful for the future of human-kind and the arts. Yes! I said that. For me, they are shining examples of what it means to still believe in what you're doing in the world and to still have love and reverence for the music. They laid the groundwork for cats like me trying to keep it going. So I am going do exactly what Mr. Chick Corea asked me to do: Keep the music going.

Time May Change Me, But I Can't Trace Time

A song I have come to appreciate over the last decade is a tune that was written when I was just a little boy. A song called Changes by David Bowie - then known by his stage alter ego, Ziggy Stardust. I recall seeing footage of Bowie/Stardust performing this tune when I was a teen and being more distracted by the crazy, space-age, androgynous outfit he was wearing than being at all interested in the song itself. But despite my disinterest in the song, I could not help but be somewhat touched by the musical arrangement. It was different. There was a fusion of some sort between old-school rock and jazz from what I could tell. Then there were the lyrics. Then? Aside from the chorus, paid NO attention to them. Who needed to know what he was saying when he was up there dressed like an alien? That was plenty! Me being the writer/poet that I am today, I Googled the lyrics after watching Bowie on YouTube doing Changes. I became interested in what he was saying in regards to that subject: Change. I read the lyrics and damn if I wasn't moved by them. Like really. It's a poem basically, as are most song lyrics in their embryonic state. I really dig the following verse:

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through

You can't tell me that ain't deep! I mean seriously!! What's got me examining this song and it's meaning to me is this. I used to be involved with an organization (I will refrain from revealing its identity) that uses a method involving peer counseling and attention as a means of healing from old hurts. It was introduced to me by an old friend. At the time I was going through some major grief due to the loss of my father. More or less, it was something new I was willing to try and I trusted my friend. As it turns out this is a practice that is done worldwide. For 11 years of my life, I was devoted to this practice and the people involved. As of a year and a half ago, I came face to face with some MAJOR issues in my private life. It was a wake-up call. I needed to make some changes or else face losing someone/something important in my life. I quit the organization and its practice. What began as a temporary hiatus turned into a permanent separation. With the exception of a few, the people whom I used to have contact with through the organization seemed to have ceased contact with me. A couple of days ago I bumped into someone whom I knew from that organization at my local co-op. It was very pleasant and sweet I must admit. She asked if I would be returning to the practice anytime soon. I said no. "It's no longer part of my life." I added. She seemed to understand. I emailed her a couple of days later mentioning how good it was to see her and how I have no regrets about moving on. She replied today with a lengthy, but very heartfelt and sweet response. In a way, it truly felt like that chapter was finished so another one could be written.

What does all this add up to? I quote Mr. Bowie again, "I watch the ripples change their size. But never leave the stream." How do I translate that? For me, it means that you cannot stop growth and no one, to my knowledge, said that growth does not hurt sometimes. However, I am still me at the core. Associations with people and organizations might challenge, modify, and in some cases, change the foundation of who you are. I would say on my own behalf that my core values have been challenged and modified to some extent through my association with various individuals and communities. Some of those relationships have ended now. But I learned some things from the experience as it happened. I'm still the same human being at the core regardless. And the lesson I learned? Even if people somehow forget who I am because the relationship changed, the main thing is that I don't forget who I am.

Time May Change Me
But I Can't Trace Time

We Just Don't Know

This morning, a fire destroyed an irish pub and several apartments above it three blocks west of my house in south Minneapolis. The last I checked the news reports online, six people were confirmed dead - two adults, two children, and two other victims that remain unknown.

Any tragedy of this kind that takes even one human life hits me; however, I began to wonder why this one in particular is really effecting me. I did not know anyone who lived above and/or worked at the pub (I've only been there once to get some take-out food). It's not the first time I have seen or heard of a fire claiming lives and destroying someone's business or home. So why? With all the terrible, absurd events of the world where countless lives are lost, literally, on the hour - why? From what I can gather and understand for myself, death brings us face to face with our own mortality. Western society, I believe, has not fully accepted, if at all, the reality that death is part of the cycle of life. One day, our time will come. We're reminded daily of this reality in every possible form of media available to us. And most of us have experienced this up close and personal through the loss of a loved one or through our very own brush with death. But who wants think about it? Not me! No way! However, I cannot help but think about it. The older I get, the more it comes to mind. I'm not on some dark, morbid trip or trying to take someone there - at least I don't think I am. But I cannot deny that it is on my mind from time to time. Is it because I want to brace myself early for when my time comes? Am I wondering, "Is this gonna hurt really bad?" or "Oh my God! I don't want to see my wife or my mother go through that kind of sadness!" I'm not sure. Maybe a combination of all of them. Who knows?

My motivation for even writing about this is still looming about in my mind as we speak. My first thought is, "You just don't know what will happen. You gotta live YOUR life! Period." I've heard this said in one version or another within spiritual, dramatic, and even comedic contexts many times. Honestly, to me, it wreaks of cliche. But cliche or not, the Truth is the Truth. This life is our ONLY shot! If you believe in a higher power, karma, the after-life, hell, heaven, all or none of the above - the fact still remains that there is no part two, second act or encore after this life is over.

You are here NOW! Do your thing! As I have stated before, I am not, nor do I want to come off as the "morality police." If you are grown, able bodied and in your right mind, you are responsible for your choices and how you want to live. The point I am making is exactly that. Live! I am reminded of the lyrics from an old, obscure Doobie Brothers song from 30 years ago:

One by One
We're given these moments to live
Just as one by one
They're taken away

What's Not to Like About the Word "Like?"

Recently I met up with a dear friend, fellow artist, and mentor of mine. I asked if she had some time to spare to hear me out. I am making some changes in my artistic journey and I felt it was time to bring other people in to the mix to help me think things through. We met up at a beautiful coffee shop in St. Paul, MN. With her tea in hand and a smile on her face, she sat down and asked, "So how can I help you, Mr. Merchant?" I immediately began to talk about trying to get more focused and organized as an artist. At this moment I am fuzzy about what all details I shared because, honestly, I felt like I was on autopilot at the time. I didn't have a checklist or anything of that sort in front me during that conversation. I was totally speaking from the heart and relaying what I was feeling. Nothing dramatic. Just being true about what was up. My friend wasted no time in asking me some point-blank questions. Questions that I had NEVER thought to ask myself.

The first question was "What don't you trust about yourself?" Boom! I was almost frozen in time. This was real! I interpreted that question as "How am I getting in my own way?" This was not a question I could answer in 10 minutes; hell, not even in a week. It trips me out when I think of all the ways I might have subconsciously stifled my own growth - my own freedom. I could write a series of blogs on that alone. But wait...it gets better. As if my friend didn't give me enough to think about just off of that question, she hit me with this little assignment: "Look up the word "Like" in the dictionary. Then...each day, work on eliminating the word "Like" from your vocabulary." Boom #2! So I did look up the word "Like," and this is its definition when used as a verb, with and/or without a subject:


like
2   /laɪk/ Show Spelled [lahyk] Show IPA verb,liked, lik·ing, noun
–verb (used with object)
1.
to take pleasure in; find agreeable or congenial: We all liked the concert.
2.
to regard with favor; have a kindly or friendly feeling for (a person, group, etc.); find attractive: His parents like me and I like them.
3.
to wish or prefer: You can do exactly as you like while you are a guest here.
–verb (used without object)
4.
to feel inclined; wish: We'll have lunch whenever you like.
5.
Archaic. to suit the tastes or wishes; please.


That being said, you might ask yourself - hell, I am still asking myself, "So what's up with this taking the word "like" out of the equation?" This is how I have come to understand it so far. In order for me to truly free myself from mainstream, dominant culture thinking and expectations, how I think, how I live, and especially how I create cannot be based upon whether others will like what I do, how I think, or what I say. I consider it a tragedy within our global society when we sacrifice our true selves at the altar of acceptance. Unfortunately, these sacrifices are taking place more and more frequently. There are too many reasons to name as to why one would go out of their way to be liked (And it is not limited to just adolescents and young adults. So-called "mature" grown folks, I'll say, over the age of 35, are jumping into the fire, too.) I feel that it comes down to the fact that this society is becoming more dangerous in every way and the risk of standing up for yourself and not taking the oath to be part of the status quo is even greater. I mean, seriously!? Are people who see their world differently and are not living and creating for the loving cup of being liked and accepted that much of a threat? Uh oh! Better raise the terror threat level to orange! But back to being free. Western society can be extremely hypocritical, fickle, and out-and-out stank in its treatment of other human beings who do their thing, their way. But my dear freedom fighters - we're not on the playground anymore. I graduated from high school two decades ago. That whole scene is over. Who are YOU? What rocks YOUR world?

It sounds like I am waging war on the word "Like." Well, in a way, I am. The more time I spend taking a good look at this, the more free I become. My real friends know the deal, so they don't need the lecture all over again. However, there are those who "mean well" that feel that it is their duty to take it upon themselves to tell me what they think I should do. Why? Because in the end, if I lived according to how they would like, then perhaps, they could relate to me better. They would like me better. Hmmmmm... To those who "mean well," what exactly do you mean?

Once again, I am speaking for me. I feel I really need to be consistent about clarifying that because it is important for me to not confuse my own values with my respect for humanity. It is NOT my desire to be the "morality police." I am distrustful of the actual police, so why would I even go there? My main point is that this whole thing about being liked is worth examining. I continue to examine this in my own life daily and will write more about this in future blogs as my mind continues to develop, change and understand my own world...in between.

What Exactly Do I Mean By "The World in Between?"

"The World in Between," to me, means those who do not follow the crowd and surrender to the dominant culture; those who are seen as "different" or "weird" because they don't follow conventional methods or they see the world in a whole other way; those who elect to fight back and stand up for themselves against others who bully and/or try to manipulate and deceive. That world in between.

I once saw a bumper sticker on a truck that said, "Ignore Your Rights and They'll Go Away." One of those rights I am thinking of at this moment is the right to choose. We hear this phrase quite often in the debate over a Woman's right to have an abortion. I see this phrase "The Right to Choose" on an even larger scale, though. The right to choose, in my mind, means you choose what works for you. The multimedia machine plays a major role in brainwashing humans to do what everyone else is doing - get a new vehicle every year; buy an iPod, iPhone or whatever the latest iGadget happens to be at the moment; buy a house you know you cannot afford; and my all time favorite - Have kids. LOTS of 'em. I could go on, but you get the idea. Now I know that this might bring out the hater in most people, but I choose (there's that word again) not to let people's hang-ups dictate what I have to say. Being liked is not important, or even critical, to my life's journey. I'm not saying that being liked isn't nice. It is. But the way I see it, I'm not competing in a pageant. I'm not into waiting around for the "votes" to tally on whether people I have never met before or hardly know like me. I live in that world in between. I was raised to be proud of who I am. I choose what works for me as a human being. As an artist, I interpret what I see, hear and feel in my own way, not according to other people's conclusions about how they think I should sound or express myself.

My motivation for blogging about this is because more and more people seem to have an issue with "The World in Between." What I mean by that is that the attitudes of human beings who are part of the dominant mainstream culture, from my perspective, are anywhere from passive-aggressive to just out-and-out nasty. What's up with that? My core belief is that we are ALL connected and there is a thread that runs through everything we do, no matter where we are in the world. However, I do not confuse my core values with the hardcore fact that many human beings have "stank," and even hostile attitudes when it comes to embracing any one or any thing that is different from their world. The word "Community" has become a key word in the mouths of many local, national and world leaders, and it looks good on paper for many corporations and organizations. However, it cannot be ignored that this word, "Community", has been whored out on several "corners" in order to obtain subsidy and recognition for respective causes. Most communities and community organizations have very cult-like behaviors in some instances; because let's face it, not everyone likes to have their thinking challenged. If being part of a community means doing what one or more people believe according to their values, even if you see it totally differently, then I think it's a great time to be a misfit.

The purpose for speaking out about this concept I call "The World in Between" is not to become some kind of spokesman for people who feel like misfits in a dominant mainstream culture that was created to humiliate and make people who are different feel awful about themselves. I can only speak for me and offer my perspective; therefore, I am choosing to exercise my right to do that. I will never pretend to know all about this or that; however, I will not dumb myself down for the benefit of stroking a person's ego when I know what I'm talking about.

Here I Am!

Welcome to the World in Between! In other words, dig my fresh blog page! I'll be posting almost all things Me here: art, poems, angry Black man prose, and whatever else I feel like. Enjoy your visit while you're here.

Allow me to share a short slide video of my recent visual artwork. I hope you enjoy!

Later,
RM3