What's Not to Like About the Word "Like?"

Recently I met up with a dear friend, fellow artist, and mentor of mine. I asked if she had some time to spare to hear me out. I am making some changes in my artistic journey and I felt it was time to bring other people in to the mix to help me think things through. We met up at a beautiful coffee shop in St. Paul, MN. With her tea in hand and a smile on her face, she sat down and asked, "So how can I help you, Mr. Merchant?" I immediately began to talk about trying to get more focused and organized as an artist. At this moment I am fuzzy about what all details I shared because, honestly, I felt like I was on autopilot at the time. I didn't have a checklist or anything of that sort in front me during that conversation. I was totally speaking from the heart and relaying what I was feeling. Nothing dramatic. Just being true about what was up. My friend wasted no time in asking me some point-blank questions. Questions that I had NEVER thought to ask myself.

The first question was "What don't you trust about yourself?" Boom! I was almost frozen in time. This was real! I interpreted that question as "How am I getting in my own way?" This was not a question I could answer in 10 minutes; hell, not even in a week. It trips me out when I think of all the ways I might have subconsciously stifled my own growth - my own freedom. I could write a series of blogs on that alone. But wait...it gets better. As if my friend didn't give me enough to think about just off of that question, she hit me with this little assignment: "Look up the word "Like" in the dictionary. Then...each day, work on eliminating the word "Like" from your vocabulary." Boom #2! So I did look up the word "Like," and this is its definition when used as a verb, with and/or without a subject:


like
2   /laɪk/ Show Spelled [lahyk] Show IPA verb,liked, lik·ing, noun
–verb (used with object)
1.
to take pleasure in; find agreeable or congenial: We all liked the concert.
2.
to regard with favor; have a kindly or friendly feeling for (a person, group, etc.); find attractive: His parents like me and I like them.
3.
to wish or prefer: You can do exactly as you like while you are a guest here.
–verb (used without object)
4.
to feel inclined; wish: We'll have lunch whenever you like.
5.
Archaic. to suit the tastes or wishes; please.


That being said, you might ask yourself - hell, I am still asking myself, "So what's up with this taking the word "like" out of the equation?" This is how I have come to understand it so far. In order for me to truly free myself from mainstream, dominant culture thinking and expectations, how I think, how I live, and especially how I create cannot be based upon whether others will like what I do, how I think, or what I say. I consider it a tragedy within our global society when we sacrifice our true selves at the altar of acceptance. Unfortunately, these sacrifices are taking place more and more frequently. There are too many reasons to name as to why one would go out of their way to be liked (And it is not limited to just adolescents and young adults. So-called "mature" grown folks, I'll say, over the age of 35, are jumping into the fire, too.) I feel that it comes down to the fact that this society is becoming more dangerous in every way and the risk of standing up for yourself and not taking the oath to be part of the status quo is even greater. I mean, seriously!? Are people who see their world differently and are not living and creating for the loving cup of being liked and accepted that much of a threat? Uh oh! Better raise the terror threat level to orange! But back to being free. Western society can be extremely hypocritical, fickle, and out-and-out stank in its treatment of other human beings who do their thing, their way. But my dear freedom fighters - we're not on the playground anymore. I graduated from high school two decades ago. That whole scene is over. Who are YOU? What rocks YOUR world?

It sounds like I am waging war on the word "Like." Well, in a way, I am. The more time I spend taking a good look at this, the more free I become. My real friends know the deal, so they don't need the lecture all over again. However, there are those who "mean well" that feel that it is their duty to take it upon themselves to tell me what they think I should do. Why? Because in the end, if I lived according to how they would like, then perhaps, they could relate to me better. They would like me better. Hmmmmm... To those who "mean well," what exactly do you mean?

Once again, I am speaking for me. I feel I really need to be consistent about clarifying that because it is important for me to not confuse my own values with my respect for humanity. It is NOT my desire to be the "morality police." I am distrustful of the actual police, so why would I even go there? My main point is that this whole thing about being liked is worth examining. I continue to examine this in my own life daily and will write more about this in future blogs as my mind continues to develop, change and understand my own world...in between.

What Exactly Do I Mean By "The World in Between?"

"The World in Between," to me, means those who do not follow the crowd and surrender to the dominant culture; those who are seen as "different" or "weird" because they don't follow conventional methods or they see the world in a whole other way; those who elect to fight back and stand up for themselves against others who bully and/or try to manipulate and deceive. That world in between.

I once saw a bumper sticker on a truck that said, "Ignore Your Rights and They'll Go Away." One of those rights I am thinking of at this moment is the right to choose. We hear this phrase quite often in the debate over a Woman's right to have an abortion. I see this phrase "The Right to Choose" on an even larger scale, though. The right to choose, in my mind, means you choose what works for you. The multimedia machine plays a major role in brainwashing humans to do what everyone else is doing - get a new vehicle every year; buy an iPod, iPhone or whatever the latest iGadget happens to be at the moment; buy a house you know you cannot afford; and my all time favorite - Have kids. LOTS of 'em. I could go on, but you get the idea. Now I know that this might bring out the hater in most people, but I choose (there's that word again) not to let people's hang-ups dictate what I have to say. Being liked is not important, or even critical, to my life's journey. I'm not saying that being liked isn't nice. It is. But the way I see it, I'm not competing in a pageant. I'm not into waiting around for the "votes" to tally on whether people I have never met before or hardly know like me. I live in that world in between. I was raised to be proud of who I am. I choose what works for me as a human being. As an artist, I interpret what I see, hear and feel in my own way, not according to other people's conclusions about how they think I should sound or express myself.

My motivation for blogging about this is because more and more people seem to have an issue with "The World in Between." What I mean by that is that the attitudes of human beings who are part of the dominant mainstream culture, from my perspective, are anywhere from passive-aggressive to just out-and-out nasty. What's up with that? My core belief is that we are ALL connected and there is a thread that runs through everything we do, no matter where we are in the world. However, I do not confuse my core values with the hardcore fact that many human beings have "stank," and even hostile attitudes when it comes to embracing any one or any thing that is different from their world. The word "Community" has become a key word in the mouths of many local, national and world leaders, and it looks good on paper for many corporations and organizations. However, it cannot be ignored that this word, "Community", has been whored out on several "corners" in order to obtain subsidy and recognition for respective causes. Most communities and community organizations have very cult-like behaviors in some instances; because let's face it, not everyone likes to have their thinking challenged. If being part of a community means doing what one or more people believe according to their values, even if you see it totally differently, then I think it's a great time to be a misfit.

The purpose for speaking out about this concept I call "The World in Between" is not to become some kind of spokesman for people who feel like misfits in a dominant mainstream culture that was created to humiliate and make people who are different feel awful about themselves. I can only speak for me and offer my perspective; therefore, I am choosing to exercise my right to do that. I will never pretend to know all about this or that; however, I will not dumb myself down for the benefit of stroking a person's ego when I know what I'm talking about.

Here I Am!

Welcome to the World in Between! In other words, dig my fresh blog page! I'll be posting almost all things Me here: art, poems, angry Black man prose, and whatever else I feel like. Enjoy your visit while you're here.

Allow me to share a short slide video of my recent visual artwork. I hope you enjoy!

Later,
RM3